We Never Really Know

The Weight Behind Someone’s Smile

You know the new movie by Tyler Perry. It''s called STRAW. Well, I watched it the other night, and I haven’t been the same since.

It wasn’t just a movie; for me, it felt like looking in a mirror. A haunting, beautiful, gut-wrenching reminder of what it means to walk through the world quietly breaking while no one notices. Or worse — they notice, but they don’t ask.

Taraji P. Henson’s character, Janiyah, is so familiar it hurts. She’s holding it together for her child. Smiling when she has to. Getting through the day, one task at a time, while inside, her world is already crumbling. And then everything spirals. One misstep, one misunderstood moment, and the whole truth unravels.

I sat there watching, breath caught in my throat, because I knew that woman. I was that woman once; and to be honest, maybe I still am.

There was a time when I, too, carried more than I ever let on.

I smiled. I laughed. I went to work. I showed up for people. BUT inside, I was barely surviving. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to worry anyone. So I made it look easy — because I thought if I broke down, everyone else would too.

But the truth is, struggling in silence is exhausting. And hiding pain doesn’t make it disappear. It just festers in the dark.

Watching Straw forced me to sit with the weight of that truth again. It reminded me that being overwhelmed doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes, it looks like holding it together too well. It looks like strength, when it’s actually desperation. And the scariest part? No one sees it until it’s too late. That’s why I believe; now more than ever; that we have to start checking in on each other differently. Not just when someone looks sad. Not just when they “seem off.” But even, especially when they look like they’re fine. Because so many of us are experts at pretending. And if you’re the one struggling; asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. We weren’t meant to carry everything alone. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You don’t have to earn rest, or permission to fall apart. You deserve support just because you’re breathing.

Watching Straw was a painful reminder that people are unraveling right next to us, and we don’t see them because we don’t look. Because we’re too busy. Because we assume. Because we’ve grown desensitized. But we can do better. We can start asking the real questions. Offering real space. Giving people the freedom to not be okay without judgment. And maybe most importantly, we can be honest with ourselves. Drop the mask. Let someone in. Because healing starts when we stop hiding.

 We never really know what someone is carrying. But we can choose to care enough to find out.

—HumanityECW