A Person Who Is Comfortable Being Alone Is Dangerous

I came across a video on TikTok a few nights ago. It was late, but like most nights, I could not sleep. I was just scrolling, letting the algorithm do its thing, when a man in his car popped up on my screen. He said something that stopped me right in the middle of my scrolling. “A person who is comfortable being alone is dangerous.” 

That was his first line. He had not even gotten into his point yet, but I sat there staring at the screen like someone had called me by name. It hit deep, because if I’m being honest, I have always kind of been that person. The one who is okay being alone. I was like that since I was a child. Sure, I played with the other kids in the yard or in the neighborhood when I got the chance, but there was always something in me that felt… separate. I had to grow up faster, at least mentally. There were parts of me that I learned to keep tucked away, because I believed that not everyone deserved to see them. Not even family. Not even friends.

I know that might sound cold, but it’s not. It’s what happens when you learn early that some people only listen so they can later use your words against you. It has happened to me more times than I care to count. So I learned to keep things to myself. I smiled, I showed up, but, I held back. That is how I learned to protect my peace.

I do not let many people in. I can count the number of friends I have on one hand. The rest? Acquaintances. Nice people, yes. People I might laugh or joke with, but not people I would bleed in front of; and I am okay with that, truly.

One thing about me that I fear people do not, and will never understand, is that, I do not hesitate to cut people off if they start messing with my peace. I have done it before, I will do it again, and I will continue doing it. I have lost “friends” that way, but I do not regret it.

Anyone who chips away at your spirit, who drains your energy, who leaves you feeling worse after every interaction, does not belong in your life. It is not about holding grudges or being bitter. In fact, I wish those people well. I hope they succeed. I hope they find healing. I just know I will be cheering for them from a distance.

Being comfortable with your own company is so powerful.

When you’re okay being alone, you don’t cling to people out of fear. You don’t beg for love. You don’t chase people who walk away. You stop entertaining things that break you just to avoid feeling lonely.

You understand that being alone and being lonely are two very different things. Loneliness is painful, yes, but solitude, solitude is peace. It is the space where you hear yourself clearly. Where you breathe deeper and where you remember who you are without all the outside noise.

So yes, the man in the car was right. A person who is comfortable being alone is dangerous. Not because they are cold or heartless, but because they no longer fear being left.

• They no longer shrink to fit into someone else’s life.
• They no longer sacrifice their mental well-being to keep others comfortable.
• They no longer settle.
• They choose themselves.
• They choose survival.

That is strength.

There’s wisdom in protecting what is sacred. There is nothing wrong with you for being selective. There is nothing weak about setting boundaries.

Your peace is precious. Guard it with everything you have.

Even if that means walking alone. 

-HumanityECW